From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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