Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
