Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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