Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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