Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
