just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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