somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
