Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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