So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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