ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
