when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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