when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
