Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
