I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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