Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
