If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
