I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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