Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize