SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
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I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
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apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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