people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I'm passing your future prison.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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