Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
