Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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