He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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