i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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