Someone shit on the floor
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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