So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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