Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
