some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
