ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
