The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
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Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
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High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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