she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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