Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
