How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Did we literally take a cab across the street
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize