I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
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No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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