I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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