The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
You can't special order awesome
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
