whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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