he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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