I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
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