My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
