apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
