You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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