You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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