If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize