We got so high we made milksteak
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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