Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
