After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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