dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
