Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
