Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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