it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Send help, water and tortillas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize