Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Randomize
