Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
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