So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
