Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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