Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
