Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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