I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Randomize
