Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
