We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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