I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
