i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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