i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I intend to get homeless drunk
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
