Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
