Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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